Alternative Route

Shut everything off, take in a deep breath, hold it for a couple of seconds.  Shut down all of the ruining and dysfunctional thoughts. Have nothing running through your head but silence. Listen to your heart beating and your lungs taking in air. You’re human. Nothings going to be perfect every second you’re alive…

Lately I have been thinking deeply about an alternative route in becoming a mother again. I had a patient come in the other day and she had an adorable new baby boy. She began to tell me that she is a foster mom. She took this little one’s siblings in and chose to adopt them so they can stay in a stable, loving home for the rest of their lives together and now she has him to join the crew! I was so proud of her for doing such a selfless act. She began to tell me that the mother and father of the kids chose drugs over their children but continued to have more. I have heard these stories before but never seen a family outside of a film living through it. It was eye opening.

Later that evening I asked my husband if he would be interested in thinking about becoming a foster parent with me and if he wasn’t interested, would it be an issue if I did… To my surprise, he’s actually been thinking about asking me if I wanted to become a foster parent! I was so impressed that I started to tear up! He truly is one of a kind. We all make mistakes and not everything is easy, but not one time has me made me feel like I was any less of a woman with PCOS.

Although, within the excitement of having an alternative plan, we started the move from a tiny town to a big o’l city. Scared worried but excited at the same time. We uprooted our family to be closer to family. Now I have to admit it has not been easy. It’s been struggle after struggle. But what I have the upmost trust in? My family. We go through it all and still seem to keep our  bond tight.

So with that, our plans are on hold for now. Just sailing through the days trying to figure out a new routine in the fast lane! My routine on losing weight and trying to get pregnant have too slowed and came to a halt. Although this last week have have started my Progesterone and Metformin again. My main goal is to lose weight before even thinking getting pregnant. I would cry and be the happiest person alive if during that time it just happens but the thoughts always there. Especially now with my new job, I see pediatrics all day and it warms my heart💜

Maybe in my next journeys to come, I will be able to give another child a house to call home. A child to feel comfort and protection. Security in a messed up world.  To be able to teach a child that just because I didn’t give birth to you, does not mean i don’t care or love you any less than if I did. To know it was NOT your fault that your parents aren’t there but that I am your gaurdian and I will always look after you.

Sound familiar? I do this with the 3 I did not birth and show there is no difference from them vs the one I did birth.💜

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